Breaking Point

I have touched on the topic of hurdles before and admitted that food is a huge tripping point for me.  I love food, mostly carb related things but also sugar.  I love chewing it, tasting it, consuming in mass quantities it, I just love it.  Clearly my love has its limits.  I don’t really enjoy meat or vegetables.  My comfort foods are bread, pasta, cereal and potatoes.

At the gym this week I reached an emotional breaking point.  I had felt like I was doing OK with my food.  Granted, some days I would slip up a little more than other days, I honestly felt like it was all OK.  Unfortunately, there was no positive move in my measurements for the week.  They went in the WRONG direction.  What was I supposed to say?  I broke and cried at Mike.  I didn’t want to.  I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes just waiting for the trigger from my brain to turn me into a red, splotchy, embarrassing mess.  I even had the pre-emptive quiver lip, horrible right?

To be honest with myself at this point, I hated eating.  I hate salads, they leave me unfulfilled.  And chewing through one of those damn things is the most disgusting thing possible.  I feel like a discontent stegosaurus chomping through all those bitter leaves.  I felt hungry all the time.  I rarely came remotely close to my protein goal (which would explain the hunger).  If you are curious to what the cry trigger was it was to announce out loud what I had come to discover, “I hate eating now”.


Fortunately, Mike is a strong man and didn’t wilt under the frightening sight of crying female.  At least not outwardly.  I can only imagine it was an uncomfortable position to be in but he didn’t show it.  We moved on from the measurements to get a workout in and discuss what CAN I do and where is the silver lining.  I can still eat carbs and sweets just not in mass quantities.  I am going to have to be more calculated and cunning in getting them in my diet.  I don’t have to eat salads, perhaps reduce the leaf amount some and try them in a wrap.  Protein is going to have to come from somewhere.  Dairy, meat, jerky (I know technically meat), protein powder, fish, nuts (although high in fat so be careful) and any combination there-of.

It’s hard to get your dietary list and your personal list to match up sometimes.  We get busy, we get stressed, we get careless and make excuses.  Sometimes we eat our feelings, we eat to celebrate, we eat to mourn, we eat when we are bored, we just eat.

I have went three days and managed to get my macros within two grams either direction of my goal amount.  This is monumental for me.  I will be trying to plan my days out ahead of time to make sure I have room for that bowl of pasta at dinner or that Cadbury egg after lunch.  Not every day will be a success (birthday cake is happening tonight, sorry Mike).  There will be slips, falls and full on face plants but I will keep on trying.  And hopefully no more crying at the gym.

***I just passed up free chocolate handouts at the office!!  Feel free to praise me!!***

Tears in the Gym

So on more than one occasion I have exercised myself to tears. I’m sure I’m not the only person out there (right Biz?). Pull-ups and squats so far have been the big ones. Sometimes I just want to cry and sometimes it’s like I blew a fuse and start laughing and crying at the same time. It’s the like the emotional equivalent to farting and burping at the same time. No one knows what the hell is going on.

I did some really basic googling and here are a few fun facts from good ol’ Wikipedia:

A neuronal connection between the lacrimal gland (tear duct) and the areas of the human brain involved with emotion has been established.

So crying and emotions are connected in the brain – no big surprise.

Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical composition, which differs from other types of tears. They contain significantly greater quantities of the hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, Leu-enkephalin, and the elements potassium and manganese.

So when I cry in the gym it’s different than crying over the onions.

Here’s my favorite though:

Crying is believed to be an outlet or a result of a burst of intense emotional sensations, such as agony, surprise or joy.

I cry at the gym as a result of a burst of intense emotional AGONY. And sometimes some surprise is added in as well. And thanks to Biz there might be moments of joy, but first…

THE AGONY

I cried this time while doing squats and not just to make Biz feel better. We go deep – past parallel and past all human decency. Mike is there to support us and push us, of course. He is also present to supply loads of fresh agony.

I made it to my last set and the last rep of that last set broke me. Mike tried to give me an assist but even with no weight I was just stuck there like a frog trying to take a big dump. Even after he moved the weight I couldn’t stand up. (You don’t even want to know how I felt for the next 3 days).

THE JOY

So my camera sucks but Biz is rocking some serious tricep definition. She was doing like 20 pounds more than me for triceps pull downs. I think it’s from a lifetime of pants-ing boys but what do I know.

Also, we tried this new exercise that I can't even explain so I will let Biz demonstrate through pictures. I absolutely did cry during this one and it way definitely joy. Partner training is where it’s at! Stuff you don’t want to do but is stupid-good for you, weird awesome things you’d never do alone in a gym and an opportunity to check out your buddy’s sweet behind.