Competitor Blog: Where did I put my groove?

After a long hiatus of couchsurfing and eating food like a pig post party it is now time to put my plans into motion. There is some what a mental block to getting back to the gym and back to tracking my food. But the food is an old familiar hat. Weigh, track, and don’t go dark. My husband who meal preps for me, is right back in the swing of it too. I really thought the food was going to be harder than it has been. 

It seems that I am struggling with finding the best fit for my workouts. When I see Mike it’s easy because I don’t have to think up what to do. He tells me what he wants and I belly ache and try to barter my way into a better deal and end up doing what he requested anyway. Making nasty faces all the while. But on my own I go to the gym at 5:00 AM. I have to be out of bed by 4:30 and out the door by 4:45. There is no time to snooze or glare at Facebook. All of my items have to be ready to throw in the car and go; I pack my bag the night before. If I forget one thing it throws the whole rhythm off. I loathe mornings but for the most part I have this down as a science. Except for that one time I magically snoozed halfway through my workout time and didn’t realize it until I was brushing my teeth. In an effort to keep myself on track, I write a workout plan in a notebook the night before (or weekend before if I really have my life together) so when I get to the gym I am not fruitlessly lifting random stuff and hoping for the best. I have approximately 45 minutes to an hour to work out. I need to be on my way to the showers by 6:00 am. 

Now I go to a different gym than the one I train with Mike at, these mornings. We can leave it nameless; there are only like 4 options in town you can probably figure it out. I am starting to become so disgruntled at the gym. First: it doesn’t have heat which isn’t super horrible because I will warm up but it is annoying. I apparently have the metabolic system of a reptile because the cold gym makes me want to curl up in a corner and go back to sleep. Second: it has been extra full lately. Yes, I realize it is probably a lot of New Year’s Resolutioners in there and they are doing good things. I am happy they are there, for them, but not for me. I don’t like people, especially people anywhere from wake up time until 9:00 AM. It’s best not to even glance in my general direction until after then. Third: no one in the building knows how to rack the weights or get them remotely close to where they should be or have them in pairs! I mean God forbid I dream ascending order AND two of the same weight in the same place. I could see them maybe getting out of order throughout the day but there is zero effort by staff to rectify this chaos. It drives me bananas; wandering sad and forlorn about the gym. Looking for that sad, lost, lonely dumbbell. Eating into my carefully calculated minutes.

In the grand scheme of things the above issues are really minor inconveniences. Would it be nice if they were different of course! But there isn’t any reason I can’t work out even without them being different. For now I will continue doing the best that I can there. I am looking into and trying to puzzle out different options that will fit both my family life and my gym life. I hope in the coming weeks I can find my gym groove and get back into the grind of it. I have goals to accomplish, rogue dumbbells be damned.

Ode to the Gym

I haven't written poetry in many, many years.  Recently joking around at work, my friend issued a challenge; write a poetry blog entry around the gym.  I take my issued challenges very seriously.  The rules of the challenge where simple; write a poem in rhyming format regarding the gym/working out.  Rhyming?  Dang it.  But I accepted my rhyming fate and did my best.  You will find this is much different than the angsty teenage written poetry of my youth.  I decided to up the ante a bit and also throw in a Haiku.  I hope that you enjoy.

First up the Haiku -


Lift, squat, pull, press, jump.
My body cries sweaty tears.
Muscles amazing.

TA DA!  You are amazed with my sweet, sweet words of poetry, yes?

And now to fulfill the obligations of the challenge.....

Ode to the Gym

Head to the gym,
Not on a whim.
To huff and puff,
And look real tough.
Push-ups, box jumps, dips and curls,
All concoctions to make your hurl.
Triceps, biceps, lats and delts,
Work them hard and feel real svelt.
Grimace and groan,
Can I go home?
Just stop your bitchin’
Feel muscles twitchin’.
It doesn’t take long,
To feel so strong.
Hamstrings, calves, quads and glutes,
Please no more bridges, I have the toots.
Sweat, swear, grimace and pant,
You’re almost done, there is no “can’t”.
Final set, last rep.
Thank heaven!   I’m out of pep.
Muscles weak, tired, depleted,
Don’t think about this, repeated.
Take your well-earned shower,
Stretch it out for half an hour.
Tonight you will sleep like the dead,
Two days out, your legs feel like lead.
Never be afraid to improve,
Just remember to do it for you.


I hope you enjoyed this trip into poetry and the gym!

The Pros and Cons of Balls

Why is it that I always find myself talking about balls?  Maybe cause balls are great for training... so much innuendo.    Today I'll go through some pros and cons of the Sweaty Swiss Balls that I love and hate so much.

PRO: There is A LOT of comedy to be had when trying to balance, squeeze, roll, and fondle balls
CON:  MUCH of the comedy is simply trying to get into position to start the exercises...

PRO: They work a lot of different body parts.  In addition to core activation each exercise works other areas too like shoulders, glutes and hamstrings.
CON: This means that ALL of me is sore for 2 days not just part of me...

PRO: The exercises are easily adjustable for different skill levels so they work well for partner training because we can each work at our level
CON: Its easy for your partner to kick your ass..

PRO: The exercises are fairly simply to understand.
CON: Imitation is harder than understanding...

PRO: Mike always has something new to add into the mix
CON: Mike always has something new to add into the mix...

PRO: I always like the idea of swiss balls before and after using them
CON: I remember how much they suck WHILE using them...

PRO: They use your body weight instead of added weight
CON: When working with weights it's because the weight is too heavy... with these its my body weight thats too heavy...

PRO: You get to play with balls
CON: They get really sweaty...

PRO: Mike mixes it up and does circuits with lots of different exercises
CON: Just when you think you are done he makes you do more dead bugs...or banging bugs which I'm sure I'll talk about another time.

PRO: You get to lie backwards over them at the end of the workout (trust me its amazing)
CON: You have to survive the workout to get to the end

PRO: I always survive and feel good about it.  =)

~Biz

Schedule Swapping and Consistency

Heather doing whatever they are called...
but they make her butt look amazing!

So just as soon as I get back from my snowboarding and think we can finally get back to a normal schedule I remember that I have to go out of town for work... sheesh. Then it turns out Heather will be gone as soon as I get back so our reschedule options are limited. I will say that getting the three of us on schedule is one of the harder parts of partner training (the rest is super easy?)

Thankfully Mike is always willing to work with us to find times to train (even when they are inconvenient for him). He was willing to squeeze us in just before I left town for Montana and right when I got back so we managed to keep 3 sessions in 3 week. Once again he is working with us and is now sacrificing his Sunday morning to train us before I leave so we don't have to miss a week. I am less than excited about giving up my bloody mary but sometimes you just have to makes those tough sacrifices. This leads me to some thoughts on consistency of a training regimen. Consistency seems to be critical. We've been able to keep our weekly session going for around 5 months with minimal interruptions... although I seem to remember Shannon (who's awesome) coming once to save me when Heather abandoned me for what I'm sure was an awesome work trip.

Bulgarians.  Not to be confused with Bulge-atarians

As usual I did a little googling and I found this that seemed to ring true:

For some people, it is common to become energized about working out and jump right in. In these cases, unless there is a long-term plan in place or some thought has gone into how the fitness activity will be sustained, there is often a drop off in enthusiasm, resulting in inconsistency. A well thought out fitness plan will go a long way in helping you to reach your goals.

I'm waaaaay to lazy to plan so Mike is my plan. I'm very much the type to go all in and then when unable to maintain it to give up. Having training once a week is sustainable and has allowed me to maintain consistency with a strength workout that I have never had before.

Having a partner is also key. Heather will yell at me if I try to flake out (yeah, she's pretty mean). Seriously having 2 people counting on your being there makes it a lot easier to keep it up and knowing there will be 2 smiling faces is a added incentive (and yes when Heather isn't yelling at me she does smile for about 30 seconds until we start swinging kettle balls).

For optimal results, you will want to build up to higher and higher levels of cardiovascular strength, flexibility and strength training. A gradual increase in intensity will allow your muscles, tendons and ligaments a chance to adjust to the strains and challenges of a fitness regimen.

Training with Mike each week allows for the gradual increases in difficulty. I am getting stronger even while I've been working on some injury recovery, travel, holidays... life in general. This is because of the consistency we've achieved (and good training of course).

~Biz

Banging training v 2.0

Tears in the Gym

So on more than one occasion I have exercised myself to tears. I’m sure I’m not the only person out there (right Biz?). Pull-ups and squats so far have been the big ones. Sometimes I just want to cry and sometimes it’s like I blew a fuse and start laughing and crying at the same time. It’s the like the emotional equivalent to farting and burping at the same time. No one knows what the hell is going on.

I did some really basic googling and here are a few fun facts from good ol’ Wikipedia:

A neuronal connection between the lacrimal gland (tear duct) and the areas of the human brain involved with emotion has been established.

So crying and emotions are connected in the brain – no big surprise.

Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical composition, which differs from other types of tears. They contain significantly greater quantities of the hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, Leu-enkephalin, and the elements potassium and manganese.

So when I cry in the gym it’s different than crying over the onions.

Here’s my favorite though:

Crying is believed to be an outlet or a result of a burst of intense emotional sensations, such as agony, surprise or joy.

I cry at the gym as a result of a burst of intense emotional AGONY. And sometimes some surprise is added in as well. And thanks to Biz there might be moments of joy, but first…

THE AGONY

I cried this time while doing squats and not just to make Biz feel better. We go deep – past parallel and past all human decency. Mike is there to support us and push us, of course. He is also present to supply loads of fresh agony.

I made it to my last set and the last rep of that last set broke me. Mike tried to give me an assist but even with no weight I was just stuck there like a frog trying to take a big dump. Even after he moved the weight I couldn’t stand up. (You don’t even want to know how I felt for the next 3 days).

THE JOY

So my camera sucks but Biz is rocking some serious tricep definition. She was doing like 20 pounds more than me for triceps pull downs. I think it’s from a lifetime of pants-ing boys but what do I know.

Also, we tried this new exercise that I can't even explain so I will let Biz demonstrate through pictures. I absolutely did cry during this one and it way definitely joy. Partner training is where it’s at! Stuff you don’t want to do but is stupid-good for you, weird awesome things you’d never do alone in a gym and an opportunity to check out your buddy’s sweet behind.