The Dreaded Holidays

Nothing is better at halting progress like life. This last week was Christmas, so you know that I did. I decided to quit going to the gym and eat like a psycho. My cat died, it was Christmas, my son sliced up him arm going through a window and I found myself totally unable to keep up with my priorities. Its so obnoxious. I have these huge goals. I love going to the gym and eating according to my goals and yet I just didn't. I ate so much on Christmas I woke up because I had to barf. Seriously?!?! Who does that? My eating patterns resemble a crack head. I eat a cookie and I find myself waking up in the night, itchy like "its cool, its 3 am you should drive to the Winco and get some cookies"

My gym buddies calling me up asking if I want to go to the gym and I just cant. On Christmas I got lifting gloves, a belt, headbands and I found myself a little embarrassed because people were giving me things to support my goals and I was eating doughnuts in the other room. And when I say doughnuts I mean like 5 doughnuts, big ones. Not just a dainty little old fashion. I know that our holidays are centered around food. We love to eat. I love to eat but the longer I stick to my goals the easier it is to see that I hate over indulging. I was (and still am) so swollen, I feel like I've lost a month worth of progress and the most important thing... i didn't enjoy it. I was puking on Christmas and I couldn't even chalk it up to some great cocktails.

So, I am taking it easy for a few days. Basic foods in small quantities that are healing and nourishing to my body but not in the form of restriction. I have no intention of punishing myself for my over indulgences. but I am done. It has been really easy this time to recognize the suffering in eating like shit. I feel like shit. Even if you are eating food sometimes that doesn't parallel your goals it is so hard to recognize the suffering. I am stocked up on lean meats, nuts and vegetables and I am so excited!! I went back to the gym tonight, sore beat up and bloated and didn't skip a beat. I cant promise that the next holiday that rolls around I wont jack up my plan, but with every "failing" my bender is shorter, and my dreams of abs didn't drift so far away.