Ever heard the phrase “first world problems”? I am sure you have. I mean sure there is world hunger and war but that one time you forgot to charge your cell phone was super inconvenient. Fit girl problems are a lot like first world problems. They aren’t ground shaking problems but they still suck. Here is a list of fit girl problems that I have started to discover.
- Low body fat = no insulation. It’s frickin’ winter! Who decided this was going to be a good idea? Really 20 degree weather in November? It’s fine. I will just wear 3 layers and my muppet socks.
- Big Booty Problems. You know how I know my butt is getting bigger? Because my butt is HUNGRY. That’s right, hungry. All day long my butt is eating my underpants. I have to fish that fabric from my crack countless times a day. At this point a thong would be a blessing.
- Workout pants. Who is designing these things? Work out pants should not be see-through. I should be able to squat and not have to worry about my pants turning opaque and providing the gym a peep show. Workout pants should also cover the whole crack of your butt when you drop it low. How can you have good form when you are paranoid that you have enough crack hanging out to put a plumber to shame? Seams. I don’t have a solution for this one really as seams are gonna be needed when making pants but let’s not make them bulky, bunchy, and cutting me in half, thanks. Also, if these could not cost $40+ per pair. I need to have a rotation of work out pants as I plan on sweating heavily in them daily. I would like to be able to swap out pairs. I am sure everyone else at the gym would appreciate it if I did as well.
- More frequent showering. I hate showering. It’s the worst.
- Not eating with reckless abandon. No explanation needed.
- Being judged for not eating with reckless abandon. Look, I know it looks weird that I am scouring the nutritional content menu at the restaurant but I have goals dang it! I have found some terrifying nutrition information. As much as I want to plow through that bowl of 4 cheese mac and cheese I now know that it will cost me much more than my carb goal for the day sitting at 1700 calories and 88 grams a fat. I know it tastes good, I want it, but not today.
- Trying to put on makeup after lifting. Time to put this hard pointy object next to my soft squishy eye and draw a straight line *picks up pencil and barely leans over, starts shaking*. I mean good my muscles are worked but dang it can I just have the best of both worlds?
- Wanting to show off your new muscles but no one else cares. I worked hard for this little tiny indentation. Everyone should want to see it and express great enthusiasm.
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