I was in an internet "debate" this week about a woman who was
pointing out the word ‘fat’ has become synonymous with ‘ugly’. When in all reality it is a descriptor. The women in this post was indeed overweight. She acknowledged to being fat but that doesn’t mean she was degrading herself. The negative stigmas that society has placed on the word fat are amazingly plentiful.

Here are my thoughts, we can all agree that being overweight may and often does lead to medical or secondary issues. But who gets to be the dictator on what is the ideal weight? Some argue BMI and other are adamantly opposed to it. Skin calipers to test fat pinches may be a way to go but what doctor will take the time to do that for all their patients? And in the end the weight loss choice as to be from within the individual themselves to want to change.

Maybe the ‘fat’ debacle touches a nerve with me more than it does other people because I have seen how bad it hurts. I may have never been in the ‘fat’ category but I have family who were overweight. I have friends who have clung to the society "ideal" weight. I have watched people emotionally berate themselves because they don’t look like the magazines. Constantly watching the numbers on the scale as if it went up they were a horrible person. As if the only thing that should matter was their relation to gravity. It is painful to watch and I  can only imagine how painful it is to experience.

I had an aunt I was very close with. She had a disease, called Amyloid that was in her heart and other major organs. She was told she was not to exercise or even walk for prolonged periods of time. To do so could kill her. She had a scooter that she would ride around while we window shopped in the mall. The looks that people would give her, glaring, whispering, snickering and general judging were maddening even at my young age of the time. She did her best to ignore them but you could see her become a little more self-conscious and turn a little more judgement internally to herself. It never stopped her from hanging out with us nieces though. Even when she had to bring the oxygen tank with her.

Sure, she isn’t the majority. But that does not matter. What matters is, you don’t know where someone has been. You don’t know what they are going through. Maybe they are fat and too afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Maybe they don’t know where to start and feel so overwhelmed they give up before they begin. Maybe they abuse food a lot like an alcoholic abuses alcohol. You don’t KNOW and it’s none of your business.

Remember the power your words and body language possess. I struggle with my own inward judgement I don’t need any help from outside sources. Be gentle to yourself and to others. Remember the power of words, they can either make or break someone. You are beautiful, you are intelligent, you are powerful and you CAN do it.