A friend of mine mentioned she wanted to compete in a bikini competition. I secretly did too but was too chicken to do it alone. I told her if she would do it then I would do it. We agreed to give ourselves a year to gain the courage and the bodies we would feel comfortable prancing around in sparkly underpants in front of a room full of strangers.
I acknowledged that I would be doing this competition but it was still easy to slack off. I didn’t have a date or anything penciled in on my calendar yet. It wasn’t set in stone, I had plenty of time to sneak in a snickers and binge on the kids chocolate cat cookies. But now, there is an actual date. Just a save the date for now but there is a target. It is a bit of a scary thought. I am committed to doing this and I will be going. Keeping the date in the back of my mind has helped me keep my taste buds from rampaging and killing my progress.
Don’t get me wrong I still go out to eat and have totally went over on my macros. I am not perfect (don’t tell my husband that I said that). BUT I haven’t gone “dark”. When I go dark I fall into deep dark pit of food. A downward spiral of reckless abandon and fried cheese. I record nothing, I regret nothing and my progress stalls.
Signing up for runs and competitions helps me keep on track. Right now I have a half marathon in two weeks. I should be out running 8 miles but instead I am looking at my other chores and doing those, I am procrastinating. But I will go for a run today because I paid to run 13.1 miles and I don’t want to feel like I am dying while doing so. And because I will be competing in a bikini competition I will not let my love of sweatpants, Netflix and ice cream derail my progress. I might not work out every morning as planned but I will get something in at some point. I won’t go dark and I will track my poor food choices.
All of you that read this blog get to help hold me accountable to that. Heaven knows I will need all the help I can get on this journey.
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