Non-scale Victories

What do you count as a victory?  I am in a couple exercise social media support groups and we have what we call non-scale victories.  “What are non-scale victories?” you ask.  They can be many things; fitting into an old pair of pants that used to be too tight, being able to heft a large item you previously struggled with, finding that you have some newly noticed or acquired muscle definition.  All of these count!

One of my non-scale victories was this weekend.  I went out with some friends after work and we grabbed some drinks downtown.  I am a bathroom snob.  I really hate using public restrooms but when nature calls you answer.  Downtown is home to a lot of interesting places however as the night wears on the bathrooms become destroyed from fellow inebriated bathroom users.  The bathroom I chose was pretty destroyed.  There was mystery liquid on the floor and toilet paper strung around like streamers.  I really didn’t want to touch any surface in this particular restroom.  Ladies, you may be able to see what non-scale victory I am leading up to.

There was no way in hell I wanted my backside to touch that toilet seat.  I decided to do the dreaded hover.  Now gentlemen, you may think “Heck. That’s easy!  What is she complaining about?”  But I assure you, there are a lot of factors that go into a proper hover.  First off, you don’t want you pants touching the underside of the bowl!  Seriously, these were co-ed bathrooms and it looked like it.  Gentlemen, if you are too drunk to control your urine and are about to let loose like one of those crazy noodle sprinklers please do us ALL a favor and sit down.  Secondly, you have to be able to get back far enough to ensure you aren’t going to be contributing to the drip down the front problem you are trying to keep your pants out of.  Yes, it is true ladies.  Don’t do you your squats and you may be accidentally dribbling down the bowl front like the disgusting people before you.

Pretty sure these helped!

Now once you get into prime position you have to manage to actually hold it and relax enough to pee.  Before regularly working out, my legs would start to burn shortly after establishing ideal formation.  About half way through my business I would be struggling to hold form and empty my bladder simultaneously.  Trust me, you do not want an accidental touch down!

Well, I am proud to announce I was able to hold alpha hover formation and empty my whole bladder.  There was no wobbly legs or fear of touch down.  My hover was solid.  Just in the nick of time too since it’s rapidly approaching summer.  That means an increase of charity and fun runs, concerts and other activities with questionable bathroom facilities.

So even if they are little or weird or not socially acceptable take time to appreciate your non-scale victories!