Sweating, butt cramps, and accomplishments.

Have you ever noticed when you are out exercising that there are different types of sweaters?  Some people seem to barely have a sheen of sweat coating their brow while other’s look like they are crawling out of a dunk tank.  I usually sweat but not in copious amounts.  It isn’t hugely noticeable unless you are looking at my pits (which is just gross.  Stop looking at my pits).  The exception to this rule is when I am at the gym with Mike.  Maybe it’s a personal challenge to see how much sweat I can produce or maybe seeing what shapes he can make out of the sweat splotches on my clothes.  Oooo that one looks like a unicorn!

Should you ever hear Mike exclaim “Oh, I have a great exercise!” and look really excited, you should be afraid.  This week’s torture contestant was my buttocks.  The combination was resistance bands and various bridges.  Sure, the first one or two are OK but let me be clear after five they get significantly less OK.  I got the most wicked Charlie horse in my butt cheeks, dual cheekage.  These exercises made me sweaty and swear a lot.  The swearing in my mind of course because I was too out of breath to enunciate clearly, like a lady.

I considered, briefly, giving up and accepting the fate of pancake butt. You know the type of rear that is so flat and kind of floppy, just like a pancake!  However, I managed to persevere.  I realize it was only one round of butt torture but I am further away from pancake butt.

We rounded out the evening making sure to tackle the ab region.  Do you know what ball passes are?  It’s where you take that giant bouncy ball (swiss ball) and pass it from feet to hands and touch the ground.   Then you go the other way hands to feet.  That counts as one.  I have tried to explain how this should really count as two but my words are lost quickly on loud exhales.  I.  Hate.  Ball.  Passes.

As much as it pains me to say it, the ball passes must be working (I can see Mike’s triumphant smile now) because I have never in my life been able to do a headstand, ever.  This weekend I was trying to show the kids how to set up for a headstand and I magically found that I could do one (sorta)!  My legs do not go straight up and I can’t hold for too long but by golly it’s a headstand!

I will forever HATE ball passes but I will give them (grudgingly) credit, dang it.