I Hate Christmas – and So Do My Pants

Now I don’t mean this in a Jesus-way, I mean it the over-commercialized, starting in July and especially: “How many parties with food that I’m not supposed to eat but can’t resist can you cram in to one month.”

I’ve been trying to lose 15 pounds for about 15 years now. Although to be fair, some years I was trying to lose 20. Somehow even with all the good changes, I’ve lost nothing. I think for every good move, my metabolism has taken an age-related downturn. So weighing about 10 pounds more than I did in high school is not too shabby and the great work that I’ve done has contributed to maintaining a fairly healthy weight as I age, which according to the rest of America’s track record is a freakin’ miracle. In the US, 68.5% ofadults are overweight  so I don’t think I’m alone when struggling through the holidays desperately trying to prevent the almost inevitable 5-pound creep.

Here’s the great thing about the personal training we do with Mike – if you improve your strength, your body changes and it shows – even under the fat. I have actually gained a little bit of weight but I know it’s muscle because my clothes are no tighter and they look better on me.

So this brings me to our last session. If there’s one exercise that I like (and hate) for changing my body, it’s the kettle bell swing. Although of course for Biz and I, we call it a kettle ball. Grab a heavy weight and swing it up by thrusting your pelvis forward and squeezing your ass tight (Mike’s got a video on his FB page to demo how you really do it). 

Clearly for our banging training this is the ultimate exercise. It also does double duty because you can’t do it for very long without seriously engaging your cardiovascular system. It will make you hyperventilate and sweat all over – even your knees! This bad boy works the whole backside of your body and at the right angle gives you some lovely cleavage – if you’re Biz anyway. I lack the raw materials. It will also get your booty sitting higher up in no time and give you the back strength to improve your posture, which is the fastest, cheapest way to look better besides smiling!

When Biz and I do kettle balls, the whole gym experiences a boost in testosterone. Not just because we are kicking ass but also because out heavy breathing (and some grunting towards the end) makes it sound like there must be an orgy going on! Take that Christmas fudge!!