My Angry Balls are better than your Swiss Balls

Rockin' Balls

Following my Physical Therapists advice I notified Mike that I was pretty limited in my leg exercises.  Apparently Mike took this on as a challenge to see just how hard he could make us work anyway.  Let me tell you it hurts to sneeze today so he accomplished his mission.

There I was 1 minute late to the gym (as was noted by the always punctual Heather) and we started foam rolling and Mike tells us we are going to work with the “Swiss balls”.  My thoughts are “that sounds like fun”, “great that will give me a good workout without risking my injured knees” and “I like balls”.  I guess I was right on certain points and not others.

It looks so easy...

We launched into a series of exercises that I call 

“How dumb can you look while trying to do something simple with a big inflatable ball?” 

Here is what we did:

• “Sit on the ball and lift this weight” sounds simple enough until Heather loses her balance, I laugh at her and loose mine and we both have to start over.

Heather's a dead bug

• “Lift this ball with your feet and then move them up and down" aka windshield wipers.  This works out well until I lose my ball and it rolls into Heathers ball therefore distracting her and we had to start over.

• “Act like a dead bug” (hold the ball between your arm and knee while ‘hovering’ the other arm and leg) works fine for the first 5 but we have to do 30… 3 times…

Solid Sideplanks

• “Practice trying to close your legs while there’s balls  in the way” (hold the ball between your legs while you side plank).  Seeing as how I can hold side plank for as long as I can keep my legs closed (a full 10 seconds) this obviously went well for the 10 minutes it felt like we had to hold it for.
• “Play catch with yourself” Sure I love any exercise where I get to lie on my back and play with myself but lying on your back lifting the ball with your legs and grabbing it with your arms is a sit-up without having to sit-up.  You can’t fool me so easily so I repeatedly threw my ball at Heather in protest as she dutifully completed her “not sit-ups”

Last but certainly not least (unless there are other ones I’ve blocked out):

Yes they were clean

• “See if Heather wore clean socks" (Plank with a ball under your feet)  My plank looked spectacular the first time we did this.  I was all the way stretched out with my feet were on the ball and I was a long straight supported superhero.  I held it for a minute while assessing my manicure needs as distraction.  When we did this at the end of the workout I confidently rolled out to about my shins before losing my balance and falling off the ball with the grace of a drunken mountain goat.  I tried again this time stopping at my knees and slowly trying for a minute to convince myself that I could go further without falling.  I may have made it to my shins..

The one I blocked out

Then my favorite part of the workout:

•  “Trick Heather into standing up”. While lying on the gym floor in exhaustion I rolled my ball at Heather (an attempt at a Swiss Ball high five) my ball veered off course toward the hulk on the rowing machine and Heather, using that same adrenaline that new mothers use when saving their babies, jumped up and saved the ball before it lead to my pummeling (or getting a dirty look). 

As I left the gym my thoughts were “that wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be", “what a good workout without my knees hurting” and “I like balls”.  As a special treat when I showed up at my physical therapists office the next morning he said "I think today we will try some things on the swiss ball"  I didn't punch him.  Only cause he has a pretty face not because he didn't have it coming.

  ~ Biz (the Serious one)

Me not distracting Heather at all....