The Feelings of Competing

This blog post is LONG overdue. As some of you know I had my very first bikini competition in May 2016. I did better than I ever dreamed I would do. My goal was to get up on stage and do it and if I placed that was just frosting on the cake. I entered two divisions; Novice Bikini and Open Bikini Class F. Novice is for those who have not competed or placed before. Open Bikini is open to anyone who would like to compete, F is my height division. I decided to do both divisions because I really wanted to get a tiara! But if you are trying to save money and enter only one division enter open. Open is really what counts, no one really touts a novice trophy in the big pond.

I came away from my show with two pieces of hardware; 2nd in Novice Bikini and 1st in Open!! Talk about blowing the goal out of the water! I was so excited! I worked my tail feathers off and it was apparent and I won!

To get up on that stage was one of the most exciting and scary things I have done. I was really doing it. I was really going up in front of a ton of people and then asking seven strangers to judge me on my looks and my sassy nonverbal skills.

All the girls I went up on stage with were really great. We were all so excited and back stage everyone was friendly even if we were all going to be gunning for the same trophy in just a few minutes. In a sport that can be perceived as a vanity sport I met a lot of really great people. I feel like I was adopted into a family of sorts. We cheer for each other and give encouragement to each other. It is a God send to have like-minded people around when “normal” people look at you like you have lost your marbles because you are weighing an apple.

After all that training finally came to fruition I was excited to have some time off. Unfortunately, I am a dummy and set my sites on a marathon later in the year. I shifted my training from lifting to running. I still lifted just not as aggressively. I was ready to be not as regimented with my time and my diet. I needed to take the time to bask in my victory and eat cake. It was actually very difficult to let the measure everything, track everything mentality go. I could see where eating disorders could arise out of this sport if you were not careful.

 My boobs came back. I put my body fat back on and the world turned warm once again. I am so happy that I did it. Some days there were tears and some days I was angry. I was so tired and ready to be done. But there is not one day that goes by that I regret it. If you are on the fence about competing I say do it! Nothing will make you stick to a diet and exercise goal quite like a competition. You don’t have to win trophies and tiara’s to be a bad ass.

BYOG - Be Your Own Gym

Walking into a gym can be a little daunting.  There are lots of hulking machines and people walking around enveloped in their world of working out.  Some people know how to use those machines, some do not.  I personally do not like using the machines.  I know they have a time and a place but I am just not all that comfortable with them.  Even when I know what I am doing.

Fortunately (unfortunately?) for me Mike comes up with all forms of fresh hell using kettlebells, dumbbells and my own body weight.  This past Monday was all manner of torture and we didn’t use one single machine.  Aside from my own war machine of a body.


The evening started off familiar enough.  Goblet squats.  He thinks that I am not onto his scheming but I see that the weights keep getting heavier and heavier.  The next item used all that is me and a step (like the kind you would use in step aerobics).  I stood on the step side-ways (when you think of step aerobics you are stepping on what I would call the wide version.  I was on the narrow version) and I was instructed to jump down, feet wide, straddling the step, tap my butt to the step and jump
back up onto the step.  I snickered to myself and had “Drop it Low” pop into my head.  Let me say these are damn hard.  About half way through I am puffing like an asthmatic dragon and my legs are on fire.  Imagine my tears when he says “So, we are going to do THAT at least two more times”.  I don’t know what that exercise is called but I feel like we should name it something like ‘ghetto booty pop squat’ or something to that effect.  He did break up the booty pops with kettlebell swinging, not sure that counts as a break.  After this he requested box jumps (well bench jumps).  I was fearful as my legs felt full of angry buzzing bees but I managed to perform all the jumps without killing myself OR falling off!

Transitioned to some shoulder work with Arnold presses that where sitting (glorious, glorious sitting) and two other things I don’t have technical names for.  The other two exercises look deceivingly simple. I was give 3 lb. dumbbells and then told to raise my arms to a T and then bring my arms forward and touch the weights together (fat end to fat end if that makes sense) and then reverse it.  From together, to a T, and down.  The other one was arms are down bring them over head tap weights together twice (fat end to fat end) and then back down.  Yea well 3 lbs. can get mighty heavy after a very short while.  The upside is I could see some kick ass new definition in my shoulders!!

The night was only about half over and abs where on the menu.  Yay?  I lunged into the other room to begin new wondrous things.  Imagine this, if you will, your arms are in a plank position.  Your feet are up on the wall.  Now you are going to do slow controlled mountain climbers (one knee comes up towards your chest).  You have to tighten all the muscles to keep yourself up that wall.  Towards the end I may have started slipping down, maybe.
 There was more of the typical things I hate, ball passes, V-up’s and some that things that I hate less.

I like to work out like this.  It kills me in a good way.  I like to not have to wait on a machine or ask if I can work in.  I feel intimidated asking a dude who can bench a Buick if he minds if I work into rotation with my 10 lb. weight.  Plus, there is really limited excuses to not work out when traveling or such. Get to work!

Tears in the Gym

So on more than one occasion I have exercised myself to tears. I’m sure I’m not the only person out there (right Biz?). Pull-ups and squats so far have been the big ones. Sometimes I just want to cry and sometimes it’s like I blew a fuse and start laughing and crying at the same time. It’s the like the emotional equivalent to farting and burping at the same time. No one knows what the hell is going on.

I did some really basic googling and here are a few fun facts from good ol’ Wikipedia:

A neuronal connection between the lacrimal gland (tear duct) and the areas of the human brain involved with emotion has been established.

So crying and emotions are connected in the brain – no big surprise.

Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical composition, which differs from other types of tears. They contain significantly greater quantities of the hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, Leu-enkephalin, and the elements potassium and manganese.

So when I cry in the gym it’s different than crying over the onions.

Here’s my favorite though:

Crying is believed to be an outlet or a result of a burst of intense emotional sensations, such as agony, surprise or joy.

I cry at the gym as a result of a burst of intense emotional AGONY. And sometimes some surprise is added in as well. And thanks to Biz there might be moments of joy, but first…

THE AGONY

I cried this time while doing squats and not just to make Biz feel better. We go deep – past parallel and past all human decency. Mike is there to support us and push us, of course. He is also present to supply loads of fresh agony.

I made it to my last set and the last rep of that last set broke me. Mike tried to give me an assist but even with no weight I was just stuck there like a frog trying to take a big dump. Even after he moved the weight I couldn’t stand up. (You don’t even want to know how I felt for the next 3 days).

THE JOY

So my camera sucks but Biz is rocking some serious tricep definition. She was doing like 20 pounds more than me for triceps pull downs. I think it’s from a lifetime of pants-ing boys but what do I know.

Also, we tried this new exercise that I can't even explain so I will let Biz demonstrate through pictures. I absolutely did cry during this one and it way definitely joy. Partner training is where it’s at! Stuff you don’t want to do but is stupid-good for you, weird awesome things you’d never do alone in a gym and an opportunity to check out your buddy’s sweet behind.

Snowboard Training

Dear Mike,THANK YOU!!  Love,Biz

It can be hard to tell week to week whether I'm benefiting from the training or not especially since I have a hard time keeping up any regimen outside of training.  Then comes a revolutionary moment where I experience the benefits in a very clear specific way.  

This weekend I went snowboarding for the first time this season.  I always plan for this to be a frustrating and somewhat painful experience.  I crank my boots as tight as possible to minimize foot movement (read: the board moves more with less muscle use) and still my calves and quads start burning on the first or second run.  As the day progresses my feet and ankles grow numb and sore from lack of circulation, my feet start cramping and I get frustrated (read: whiny).  I take lots of breaks and adjust my equipment constantly (Read: it must be an equipment malfunction and can't possibly relate to my being out of shape).  Usually the second or third day out of the season I finally start to find my stamina and am able to go without getting too whiny.  Don't get me wrong despite all of that I LOVE snowboarding I just usually have to get through the first week or so before I begin to board at my normal level and can work on improving.  

This year was completely different.  I strapped in and prepared myself for a long whiny day and found none of my normal problems.  By the third run I was doing pretty well and feeling really comfortable on my board.  Additionally going slowly and stopping for slower members of our group would usually wear my legs out even faster but my legs were fine.  ALL DAY.  I loosed my boots and my legs were still ok (read: I could feel my toes).  About halfway through the day it struck me why it was so different this year.  MIKE!  It was my training.  It's the only explaination.  My legs are in better shape then they have been in years!  All those squats, swings, bulgarians, turks, and other nationalities are paying off big time.

In addition to keeping me from being a whiny baby I was boarding with better form than normal.  Usually I get lazy and tend to glide with my legs straight whenever possible and choose easy terrain that doesn't require a lot of work.  With my newfound leg strength and stamina I was able to lower my center of gravity and board with great form.  This meant I was able to go on harder terrain, faster and with more control (read: falling less).  I was on black diamonds my second day back.  Usually I won't go on them for at least a week (read: if at all).  Not only was I going on them but I was really boarding them (read: making turns not just getting to the bottom without dying).  

I have a feeling our next day out I might start doing tricks (read: go in half pipe without dying and/or go in kids trick park without dying).  I may even get a trick lesson (read: probably a good idea).  

So this is a big thanks to Mike!  I have clear evidence that my legs are in better shape than they have been in years and its due to the banging training we do each week.  Kick ass!

~Biz