Grumptastic

Last Monday I was so grumpy and just down in a funk.  I didn’t want to do anything but maybe lay on the floor.  Possibly squeeze in a self-pity cry while wrapped in a comforter doing my best impression of a burrito.  It felt like I had a haze over my eyes.  I was a Grumpasaurus Rex.

It was also gym day.  So I shuffled myself into my gym clothes and headed in to see Mike.  Turns out it was also measurement day, yay?  I didn’t expect good things.  I ate with reckless abandon for two days and when I tried to make up for it ended up not feeling well.  Mike was gracious enough to offer waiting if I wanted to, he may have been trying to avoid another tear fest at the gym.  I figure ‘whatever’ that fried chicken is going to present itself now or later, let’s get on with it.

Pleasant surprise that I was continuing the positive trend!  The numbers moved in the direction that was desired or stayed the same.  I take this as solidifying the fact that I do not have to be a dietary saint 100% of the time.  Thank heavens because if that was the case I would never make any progress.

Despite hearing the good news my face was still settled into a barely neutral expression.  We moved from measurements to working out.  Mike was elated!  Various weights of kettlebells had arrived and are ready to abuse all gym goers.  Kettlebell swings with both hands, one hand.  So. Many. Swings.  Kettlebell deadlifts and suit case carries.  I was swearing and sweating and doing my best to complete my assignments.

At the end of our session despite feeling like my ass had been handed to me by the kettlebells I felt surprisingly better.  The haze that coated my eyes was gone.  My muscles had worked out the self-pity energy.  I had a tired smile on my face, smelled bad and was ready for my shower.
Lifting, sweating, and grumbling around the gym helped to burn off the grumpy attitude of unknown origin.  We just confirmed science people!

I know it’s super hard to get out and do things, anything, when you have boarded the pity train or the grumpy bus.  If you can just get yourself to dedicate to 30 sweat fest you will feel better.  And if you don’t, you can always curl up in a burrito of sadness after your shower.

BYOG - Be Your Own Gym

Walking into a gym can be a little daunting.  There are lots of hulking machines and people walking around enveloped in their world of working out.  Some people know how to use those machines, some do not.  I personally do not like using the machines.  I know they have a time and a place but I am just not all that comfortable with them.  Even when I know what I am doing.

Fortunately (unfortunately?) for me Mike comes up with all forms of fresh hell using kettlebells, dumbbells and my own body weight.  This past Monday was all manner of torture and we didn’t use one single machine.  Aside from my own war machine of a body.


The evening started off familiar enough.  Goblet squats.  He thinks that I am not onto his scheming but I see that the weights keep getting heavier and heavier.  The next item used all that is me and a step (like the kind you would use in step aerobics).  I stood on the step side-ways (when you think of step aerobics you are stepping on what I would call the wide version.  I was on the narrow version) and I was instructed to jump down, feet wide, straddling the step, tap my butt to the step and jump
back up onto the step.  I snickered to myself and had “Drop it Low” pop into my head.  Let me say these are damn hard.  About half way through I am puffing like an asthmatic dragon and my legs are on fire.  Imagine my tears when he says “So, we are going to do THAT at least two more times”.  I don’t know what that exercise is called but I feel like we should name it something like ‘ghetto booty pop squat’ or something to that effect.  He did break up the booty pops with kettlebell swinging, not sure that counts as a break.  After this he requested box jumps (well bench jumps).  I was fearful as my legs felt full of angry buzzing bees but I managed to perform all the jumps without killing myself OR falling off!

Transitioned to some shoulder work with Arnold presses that where sitting (glorious, glorious sitting) and two other things I don’t have technical names for.  The other two exercises look deceivingly simple. I was give 3 lb. dumbbells and then told to raise my arms to a T and then bring my arms forward and touch the weights together (fat end to fat end if that makes sense) and then reverse it.  From together, to a T, and down.  The other one was arms are down bring them over head tap weights together twice (fat end to fat end) and then back down.  Yea well 3 lbs. can get mighty heavy after a very short while.  The upside is I could see some kick ass new definition in my shoulders!!

The night was only about half over and abs where on the menu.  Yay?  I lunged into the other room to begin new wondrous things.  Imagine this, if you will, your arms are in a plank position.  Your feet are up on the wall.  Now you are going to do slow controlled mountain climbers (one knee comes up towards your chest).  You have to tighten all the muscles to keep yourself up that wall.  Towards the end I may have started slipping down, maybe.
 There was more of the typical things I hate, ball passes, V-up’s and some that things that I hate less.

I like to work out like this.  It kills me in a good way.  I like to not have to wait on a machine or ask if I can work in.  I feel intimidated asking a dude who can bench a Buick if he minds if I work into rotation with my 10 lb. weight.  Plus, there is really limited excuses to not work out when traveling or such. Get to work!