Be Mindful of Your Words

We have all heard about the science experiments of the plants or rice being talked to nice vs. being talked to mean and how the nice one flourishes and the mean one wilts or spoils quicker.  This experiment is to show the power of our words on lives.  If it can effect a non-animate life how is this on animate lives?

I am my own worst enemy, like most people are.  I can be so mean to myself and it doesn’t serve any purpose.  I have been striving in my advancing years to get better about positive self-talk.  Nothing has catapulted my motivation forward further than having kids.  I have two beautiful little girls who are looking to me to show them how to navigate life.  To those girls I am a beautiful being even when I have a crazy bun on my head, ratty jeans, sweat dripping down my nose, and dirt smeared across my makeup-less face.  To them my body is perfect even when I look like I am in my second trimester of pregnancy from the massive burrito I just massacred.  They don’t look at the shrinking size of my bra and think less of me.  To them I am perfect in my imperfections.

That is why I am especially careful not to poke too much at my stubborn belly pooch aka the snack pack.  I have explained to them I don’t think that I am fat and that is why I am following a diet.  I am following a diet because I am in a competition that I am changing the way my body looks for.  I am *choosing* not to eat a cookie because I am training not because I think I am fat.

When I hear my nine year old voice her fears that she doesn’t want to get “fat” my heart breaks.  Nine year olds should be worried about when they will be able to go out and ride their bike or play with their friends not about the size and shape of their bodies.  I told her that no one gets dictate the size and shape of her body but her, it isn’t anyone else’s business.  I will still encourage my kids to eat healthy varied diets and get outside and play because that’s a good life skill.  But I will also still give my kids ice cream after dinner some nights and sometimes cake for breakfast because it’s fun and what is life without fun?

The point of all this is to make sure that you are really thinking through your statements before they cross your lips.  You may have little ears with fertile minds catching all your words and planting the seeds of doubt in themselves and their perception of you.  You may be tearing yourself down and vocalizing it just dings against the psyche even more.  List off what you love, like or is your favorite thing about you.  Society has somehow twisted us to not even be able to take a compliment from ourselves.  It’s OK to like yourself.  Here I will go first: my eyes are my favorite feature and I love that I don’t pee when I sneeze (moms know what’s up).  Trust me it’s hard but it’s worth it.  And when your brain throws out your imperfections acknowledge and move on.  You are a superhero.  You are amazing.

Gym Friends

If you are anything like me you have a large of assortment of interests.  Reading books, knitting, sewing, parenting successfully, running and going to the gym to name a few.  You may also notice that you have a friend base that has some people who love knitting, for example, but wouldn’t be interested in running.  Your knitter friend could be an invaluable resource to your knitting.  They would try to support you in your running endeavors because that’s what friends do but they really couldn’t find the joy or value in the activity quite like you do.  And that’s OK.  Not everyone is a cookie cutter copy of someone else and it would be boring if they were.

Making friends who have a similar goal or drive for the gym is really an invaluable resource.  I have some friends in real life that I can message about my lack of will to go to the gym and they will offer to meet me there.  It helps to pull me out of my funk and into the gym.  A work out goes by quicker when you are able to laugh and socialize a little.  Please note: socializing at the gym does not mean parking your butt on a machine and talking while doing *maybe* one set.  It means bust your ass and take your turn talking on your rotation!

I also have virtual friends.  These are workout groups I have joined on social media.  These are super nice to have because it’s like having a larger cheering section.  They want you to succeed and they are excited when you have a victory to share.  Again, please note: there are some really catty, snotty, horrible people out there.  You may need to cull out the groups that you stay in or post in.  Some people just won’t be happy for you.  You don’t need that noise.

Sometimes I share a sweaty selfie or a flex Friday post with the general masses but for the most part I share with my friends who have the same drive.  Most of my friends can be excited for me but because they don’t live the life, don’t experience the everyday challenges of trying to change their body in a specific way, they don’t fully appreciate what I am trying to accomplish.  My gym friends understand, not only my love of cake, but the strength that was necessary to turn it down.  My gym friends will notice that subtle shadow of a muscle or that my butt looks good in my new leggings and it isn’t weird when they mention it.

So look around.  Do you have any friends that can help you in your gym journey?  Anyone who would love to celebrate your victories and keep you moving in a positive direction?  Go out there and make some friends!

Sometimes Life Explodes

You are going along through life.  Everything seems good.  There are few things that make life inconvenient but not unbearable and then all of the sudden life explodes!  It’s like a landslide of things that keep happening.  Before you know it you want to curl into the fetal position, eat your weight in Cheetos while crying into a rum and Coke.  You are completely overwhelmed.

This happened to me recently.  As we started to slide into the holiday season things just started to pile on up.  My kids got sick, my littlest gets viral induced asthma so it’s a huge ordeal that lasts a loooong time.  Then the dryer broke, then the car broke down out of town, then the TV broke, the car needs long term help, I stepped on a nail, all three of us need new glasses.  It’s just one expensive item after another.  I felt completely overwhelmed and underfunded.

Typically, I would go ahead and comfort myself through food without much thought.  Except for maybe additional self-loathing after I ate my 20 piece chicken mcnugget, large fry, and 3 gallon soda.  This time I tried to eliminate the stress in the gym.  Some days it helped.  Other days my heart was not in it.  But I kept going.  Not going wasn’t going to fix anything that was wrong.

As much as I felt like not going to the gym some days.  Like it was another “chore” that had to be done and added to my list of stuff, I still went.  I didn’t let the habit get broken.  Bit by bit life started returning to normal.  The stages of grief were working their way through and I was starting to feel more normal.  

Were all my problems fixed by going to the gym?  No.  But they aren’t going to be fixed by falling head first into an endless food binge or pity party.  Giving in to temporary satisfaction will not help me in my long term goals. Throwing around heavy things while listening to Zombie probably helped more than I know.